ChavTowns

Warsop

Warsop is a place where people have only just learnt to stand up straight, we refer to these as Warsopians. Ex pit workers, single parent families or just dossers, you know where to find them.

The pubs make a roaring trade in the daytime, and they would not dare shut down the post office for fear of all the Warsopians claiming their Living Allowance, burning the place to cinders, these simple-minded invertabrae have not yet developed a way of expressing their frustration, so they can only express it through violence or vandalism.

Ex-miners tend to live in the pub on their pensions, whilst the other old Warsopians stay in their houses in fear of even going to Somerfield, the only supermarket in this godforsaken hole.

The very few enlightened Warsopians will leave the shithole as soon as it dawns on them that there is absolutely no chance of enlightenment for the majority of Warsopians.

The centre of local culture are the Talbot and the Hare and Hounds, where fishwives gather to receive the daily gossip and to grab a quick wrap of skag.

Most female Warsopians leave Meden school unable to read with an aspiration to become knocked up by any local skaghead whose dick has not yet fallen off, fortunately for these disgusting uneducated foul mouthed and foul cunted sluts, the average Warsopian male is usually either too drunk , stoned or just plain stupid to care who his fishwife might shag.

These young sluts are so rough, disgusting and unkempt when they lose their cherry, it is referred to as loosing their Sardine.

Dumpies' the local cornershop, is the local socialising point for the young Warsopian chavs. The Male chavs tend opt for Diamond white as this offers the best alcohol to money ratio for their meagre state benefits which they have worked Scrounged hard all week for, although many do not even manage to collect it for weeks because getting out of bed before 5pm when the post office shuts is too much of an effort for these hard scrounging parasites. Female Warsopians will try to appear adult and sophisticated with their taste of wine by drinking Lambrini cherry.

The local lingo consists of the salutations flower, petal, love, duck, babe and chick as most Warsopians lack the mental agility to remember names and faces due to past alcohol abuse.

The only nice part of Warsop is the Carrs, unfortunately due to the problems of delinquent juvenile Warsopians who have not yet taken up the local job of scrounging, the Carrs is the centre of youth activities which include attempting to drown in 2 foot of water, shooting swans with a pellet gun and getting drunk and leaving all the empty cans and used needles.

Some forward thinking female Warsopians are known to walk around with a mattress and bells attached to their back just in case they happen to meet a family member/inbred.

They are fucking inbreds!

Barrow In Furness... Love it?

Now I've been in Barrow several times, it's a place where the local youth don't know what's what and starts to pick fights just to occupy themselves, crazy ladies with three dogs start talking to you about their walnut cabinett and the police are just as fat and hairless like the police in switzerland that eat fondue on top of the mountains and cut salami with swiss army knifes.

Now don't get me wrong I really enjoyed my stay in barrow but theres just too much hate in that city, do you feel me? You do.

I couldn't stagger into tescos without some little fat ginger kid insulting me, now I'm grown up but beating ginger kids like fat pinatas waiting for the sweets to pop out is music to my ears (especially if their ginger)

Well it's not their fault their mums probably raised them in some run down house or not at all. In fact their mums are probably in Jeremy Kyles studio right now having some DNA test done just because they've fucked about every chav in bloody Barrow and don't know who the father of their hideous kids are.i

But all in all I really liked Barrow and its a trip worth making, the seagulls, the dock museum, the pubs, the people etc.

I'd suggest you'd double check that rear-view mirror and head up there because you won't find a place like it.

love
TheWarriorChief

East Wittering (Chichester)

Oh god, I guess we should start by saying that this is really a coastal suburb of that small city, Chichester - or Chi as it is referred to by the local scuffers. Filled with the retired, the stoned, the inebriated and the frayed cuffs middle classes, this place really is a dull shithole that thinks far too much of itself. Again, rather like Chichester, Wittering is home to the middling chav - estate agents/retail manager/marketing wanker; all these people would never regard themselves as chavs, but certainly behave as them. They rip each off, fight each other and have a general hostile attitude to people outside of their tired, rundown shit little village/suburb. Indeed most take pride in being a local thinking that the crap surf, shitty pubs and arrogant loser public school petty drug dealers are something to be proud of.

If you are wanting to move out from London, sign on, and get pissed and hassle people then this is the place for you

Dull basically

Gresford, where chavs rule.

Gresford, a small village, a part of Wrexham. Gresford is home town to all types of chav, old, young, poor, rich, all united in a hatred against those who oppose them and their chav-tastic ways.

Gresford is considered to generally be a better part of Wrexham, as it appears to be less infested with chavs. But believe you me, especially recently, the chavs have been out. It seems I can't walk down to spar, a two minute walk away, without seeing at least three chavs, and many more mini-chavs.

Mini-chavs, the smaller, somehow more arrogant and ignorant form of the chav. They think so much of themselves, they think they can do anything. I'm not yet an adult, and am infact only 15, but I am still a lot older than many of these scum on earth, and so should demand some respect. I know when I was their age I wouldn't dare intimidate somebody, maybe twice my age, yet these pathetic excuses of human beings find they have the right, and power to try and intimidate and threaten me. Just last weekend, one passed me in the street, and tried to start a fight, the boy was well over a head shorter than me, and I know him from my primary school, the kid's 5 years younger than me, and he tried to start a fight!

Of course I had no intention to be caught beating up a child five years my junior, so I simply implied he was gay, and confused him with some complicated insults, and his threats turned out to be hollow, no surprises there. The fact that he had the nerve to do this though I think is atrocious, and if he tries to pull anything similar in the future, I will take up his challenge to a fight, and show no mercy whatsoever.

Just today, following an argument on msn, in which I was repeatedly insulted by some filthy chav, also from my primary school, her and some of her friends came to my house, I was shocked that they would do this, but they did nothing, when confronted most chavs crumble, and resort to arguing with no threats, which they aren't good at, and if you can get them into this position you've generally won the "battle," and won't be hearing from them again.

It may seem sometimes that everybody from my primary school is a chav, and in thinking this I wouldn't be far wrong. This is mainly down to the fact that most people from my old school went to Darland, the nation's chav-breeding-ground. I'm not saying everybody there is a chav by any means, I know a couple of people there who aren't chavs, and these people are generally segregated from the rest of the school, and are often bullied harshly. I know several non-chavs who went there who had to leave the school and go to St. Josephs, before they were forced into chavvyness, a far better school. But for the vast majority, all hope is lost, they are easily converted into the scum by peer pressure. Infact, out of a class of 36, 30 went to Darland, 6 to other schools, only myself getting into King's school, a refuge from the horrors of chavs, for the most part. And from my class of 36, 33 are chavs, 2, emo, and then me, a nobody.

The two emos from my old class are my friends, they used to be such happy people before they went to the school, but now, they are subject to scrutiny for the clothes they wear and the music to which they listen.

What a world we live in.

(Sorry if parts of this seem a bit thrown together, I find it difficult to concentrate when I'm angry xD)

Blackrod , Bolton

Well Blackrod, in Bolton. The village seems nice as you drive through until you hit the chav territory. They all sit there at the bus stop in gangs of 30 throwing stones shouting rubbish at innocent people. The Balti House is always under fire by this chav scum. They all congregate and drink beer and even smoke weed in broad daylight. If they don't know you don't walk past them because something will be said or you may bit hit unconcious by a stone. Fights always happen on new street next to the john's off licence. And at 2 o'clock in the morning if you see a chav running through your garden in Blackrod, don't be surprised. Police are always driving round the chav infested area's and the mopeds, omg its full of them. Driving at daft speeds and on the pavement.
If you like this kind of thing come to Blackrod aka known as B-ROD. OR DIRTROD. OR SHITROD.
If you come to Blackrod stay at the nice ends dont go on New Street or Vicarage road areas for your own safety.
Council House Scum the lot of them.

Manor House

It makes me feel sick how many chavs are walking around acting like they own the place here, they gravitate down from Harringay Green Lanes, Woodberry Down, AND Finsbury Park.

Of course they all stay quiet but leave chewing gum on the floor, the trick is not to look vulnerable otherwise they target you very quickly, the scum.

It used to be worse, there used to be angry people on the benches that would ask for money off of you then stab you if you didn't hand it over, but in that little shop at the bottom of the parade I've seen some dumb fucking tracksuit wearing indian guy quietly threatening people with "gimme a pound or I'l dig ya" so don't be fooled by it's quietness, people around here are mostly scum.

It makes me feel sick how many chavs are walking around acting like they own the place here, they gravitate down from Harringay Green Lanes, Woodberry Down, AND Finsbury Park.

Of course they all stay quiet but leave chewing gum on the floor, the trick is not to look vulnerable otherwise they target you very quickly, the scum.

Chavvy people are always scum, obviously.

Morley, Leeds

I'm sure you've read about other towns being infested with chavs, I mean, why else would you be on this site? Anywho, I assure you that you haven't yet read about a town so pathetic and 'wannabe' as Morley.

So, where is Morley? Morley's in Leeds. It's quite a small place but is infested with loads of chavs and thugs and whatnot. And to give chavs some fairness, these people in Morley are just 'wannabe'. If you know what I mean.
I don't actually live anywhere near Morley but I have contacts that do, and I've heard off of them how much of a shithole it is, so bare with me.

In my lifetime I've been through a hell of a lot, involving people who call themselves chavs, so I know what it's like when my friend who lives in Morley says it's a crap town and deserves to be demolished.
Why did she say this?
Because, well, let's see : The chavs in Morley usually walk around in big, huge gangs. They're like those kids that if they're with their friends they're untouchable and 'well ard' - as chavs say - but when they're own their own they're as nice as nice can be, to anyone. They usually hang out at their local Asda or at one of their local Chippies, giving dirty looks at people who walk in to buy some fish and chips. The majority of them hardly do any work at all in school, which is either Morley High or Bruntcliffe High (which ever one you pick they'll have bad exam results because so many chavs go there).
The chavs in Morley are also hooked up on love. It's like a fairytale there, my friend says. A couple break up and it's like, "Come on babe I need you back..please don't do this to me!". the problem is, it's chavs that are only about 13 or 14 years of age doing this. They think they're acting like adults but they're far from that!
Lose the overdose of make-up, the chunky jewellery and the baggy tracksuits, wear something more casual and look like a god damn person, and then you WILL be acting like an adult.
Also, lose the sob stories.
The amount of times my contacts in Morley have told me something 'tragic' is too many to count. Some of my contacts are chavs, by the way.
But I'm far from friends with them, I exploit them - take information from them so I can use it here.
They make a big scene when their cat dies or something, even the lads!

Hmm. Oh yeah, and they talk big about getting drunk every night.
I used to talk to a person who goes to Bruntcliffe High on MSN Messenger a while ago, and he was effectively a chav.
&& He made up soooo many lies!
"The cops caught me with crack I'm going to jail"
Yeah, if you're really going to jail, why are you on MSN? You should be getting a lecture off your parents or better yet, you should be in jail now!
God, not only are the chavs in Morley well, chavs...they're attention seekers, too. Desperate ones... really, really desperate ones.

So, like I've said, chavs of Morley:
If you want to act like an adult I suggest you do the following...

Lose the extra make-up
Lose the baggy tracksuits
Lose the chunky jewellery
Lose the phase of tucking your pants into your socks
Lose the crappy Trance music on your phone
Lose the sob stories
Lose the attention seeking
Lose the fairytale romance
Lose the bad grades at school
Lose your life, basically.

The only way you're ever going to grow up is if you do all of the above. Otherwise, you're stuck as a moronic, dumbass chav all your life.
Still stuck in your teenage stages when you're an OAP playing bingo.
I can imagine that clearly.. a chav at 65 years old, frayed grey hair with a big giant bald spot, loads of wrinkles and moles, and the Fred Perry tracksuit and Nike trainers. What's that you chavs say for something good? Oh yeah... Buzzin'!
(:

Did you hear the one about the one legged chav...? (Northampton)

If you're unlucky enough to know who i'm talking about here, then you truly know Northampton. There was a young gentleman chav who used to regularly "roll" through the 'ton. He would roll because he had only one leg. Now I do not see this in itself as a point of ridicule, i do however find it as funny as fuck when i see this fat, puce drunk dole scrounger attempting to hit out at someone that his mates are actually holding in front of him. He misses, falls out of the chair and lands chins first onto the concrete. Funny you may think, but it gets better. Like an episode of Dad's Army, his mates stumble around him trying to put him back in his chair. "Leave us alone, fook off, i'm reet!" he screams at his malnourished posse. For 'Hopalong' has pride you see, that means he can get himself back in his chair. Only he can't. All he does manage, is to bend over the seat of the chair with his tracksuit bottoms halfway down his arse exposing a blotchy red crevice. The potential victim of his beating has now long gone and people in the street are staring as he shrieks at passers-by to "Fook off"
As my friends and I compose ourselves, one of my more eagle-eyed chums swears blind that he saw a tear inch down his fat, purple cheek.
This happened about a year ago and recently he has been conspicuous by his abscence. A reliable source told me he was dead. Good.

United Kingdom!

There has been an epidemic of Chav, Townies and other Scum arming their defenseless and heroin ridden bodies with weapons.
The English people took it in their stride when, once again the lower class makes one big loud noise to be heard! They do it at least once every decade. People will forget them again and then they will kick up a fuss AGAIN!
Now these so called Chavs, which are VERY easy to identify carry offensive and potentially life threatening weapons. This is when the joke stopped. This is when reality hit home.
Sentences here in Britain are not strong enough to fear the average person or Chav from carrying a weapon. The past two months has saw the highest increase in defense spray being purchased by Britons than ever in the whole history of our consumer habbits.
Once knife crimes used to be related to gang culture. Now inncoent victims are being stabbed at no fault to their own. We know Chavs start fights, disputes where there is no place or holding for them. Now they are starting knife crimes.
I have recently seen the latest government advert which is a real CCTV footage of a knife crime. You can see how someone can have so much anger to insert violently a shard of carved metal into the back, chest and heart of a fellow Briton. With the following excuse of, "I was drunk" "He looked at me". These are being held up in court as actual reasons to their crimes. In any other country this would not be an excuse.
Lawless Britain, Lawless Britain and Lawless Britain.

It has not come to the fact that innocent people are dying. Footballers are turning in their jobs as they do not want to be related to gang culture. Do they not see what they are doing? How can someone be so cannabalistic?

Thankfully there are untouched areas in Britain and thankfully the police are doing their best from what little the Labour Government give them. I can assure you that Labour have been the fault of this countries demise for the past 3 years. The average citizen now has less rights that of a British prisoner in a British prison. An average member of the public MUST pay their taxes and all over fees, COUNCIL TAX. A prisoner MUST eat 3 times a day! Must have a warm room in the winter. Must have clean clothes every 4 days. Must have a drink when in need. Must be able to sleep for at least 9 hours a day. A prison is excempt from paying taxes, council tax and any other bills.
OAP's are too affraid of rising prices they leave their central heating off to refrain from high bill costs. Other familes have to be much more careful on their food bill. All these people are law abiding citizens and they see less law involved in their life that the British Prisoner.

I urge you all who agree to all or even just parts of my text. Leave this dangerous place. When you thought you had protection and safety from your police and other government establishments. It has been clear you don't. You cannot walk down the street in safety, you cannot rely on the police, you cannot rely on your doctor you cannot rely on the taxi man that takes you home. Yes there are good people out there. But with the lack of security in this country and with the slack immigration policy you never know how to interact with people. As we do not require an Average Living Exam on entry to this country. Polish, Afgan do not know the living experience of a Briton before they live here and are culturly shocked and therefore stick in groups and never intergrate which is a huge problem.
State Schools contain high levels of violence and even death to teenagers, this will usually be as bad as it gets in their life if they dont end up taking their lifes. Houses are too expensive. Way of life is too expensive. Our cities are too small. There are KNOWN convicts on the streets. There are KNOWN ILLEGAL members in this country. You have less rights than you did before Labour original came into power. You pay more taxes than ANYWHERE in the world. You have to wait up to 6 months for a life saving opperation HIGHEST WAITING TIME IN EUROPE. Your country has no IDENTITY! You will be mugged and stabbed at any chance people have knowing there will be no justice to prosocute them. THEY WILL WALK THE STREETS FREE within 7 years AFTER YOUR DEATH!

Thank You for reading. Thank You for leaving.

kings lynn chav dregs

Where do you start? unfortunately i live on a chavs estate (hopefully not for much longer) and my neighbours are as follows
1) a noisy couple who argue violently with each other and air their dirty laundry in public.
2) a chav who loves that shite heavy bass (music?) and thinks everyone else loves it even at all hours.
3) a halfwit couple who dont mind their dog barking at all hours -"coz its a guard dog"
4) another half wit who owns a little yappy dog which is left out 24/7 to make a noise all night.
5) a block of flats full of chavs near my house that think shouting is a standard way of communicating and seem to have a can of strong lager constantly welded to their hand.
6) nearby chavs who like the sound of crashing a football against a garage door (which is probably not theirs)
and the list goes on......
the funniest thing happenned to me the other day, i decided to go into town on a bus and while waiting at the bus stop heard a young chav in a heap of crap cavalier shout out get a car you bussers! that amused me cos my car was 8 years younger than his and probably worth 20 times as much !! lord i hate this wave of low life chav scum.